Wednesday, April 23, 2008

This Concerns Me

Rising sea levels? I live inland. Increasing temperatures? I used to live in Texas, and now I live in Pennsylvania. Bring it on! Food scarcity? Not in this country, at least in my lifetime. Chaos in the street? My family has more guns than it could possibly need, and a remote cabin (tree farm/deer camp) with indoor plumbing in SW Arkansas. So Global Warming Alarmism, so far, hasn't scared me, even if the most worrisome jeremiads of The Goracle come true.

But overwhelming infestations of poisonous spiders? Holy freaking crap, now I'm terrified! Head for the hills! Carbon cap-and-trade! Buy a Prius! Eat more tofu! All hail our new supreme overlord Albert Gore!

Lord help me, I HATE spiders.

Update: Whew, I'm safe. New Ice Age instead! Which ought to keep me safe from everthing... except ICE SPIDERS!!!!!



Anonymous Chris said...

You may not want to look at what I found in my back yard last summer.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Benjamin said...

That's unpleasant. The spiders we had while in our apartment back in WA state were even worse, though. Big long bony legs; ugly, bulbous, segmented bodies; and a crap-ton of them in our storage closet. Ick.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Marty said...

It's an argiope or black and yellow garden spider. I first saw one of these in the meadow at Dad's land. They're honkin' big, and like all spiders are venomous. But they're venom is not particularly dangerous to humans.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Benjamin said...

OH MAMA!!! I just caught Marty in one of the classic grammar-nazi blunders of all time! So he bugs me over the proper capitalization of "asian", and then dishes out... "they're". Wow. let me just revel in this moment for a while...

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Marty said...

I guess I have to kill you now. And all your readers.

7:33 PM  

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