The More You Know...

Frank J. at IMAO shares with us some 100% true facts about Fred Thompson. I think these, for the most part, make it easier to vote for the guy, since we can trust the folks at IMAO:

* The reason Fred Thompson didn't want to stay in the Senate for long is because all the extra scrutiny kept him from doing his favorite hobby: Prowling the streets at night killing drug dealers.

* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

* The budget to Law & Order was dramatically increased when Fred Thompson was added to the cast because he has to be digitally inserted into the scenes since anytime he's near Hollywood liberals, he kills them.

And my personal favorite:

* The Fremen consider "Fred Thompson" a killing word.

Of course, being a honest reporter of honest, 100-percent-true facts, he also points out some potential flaws in Mr. Thompson:

* The actual cause of global warming: Fred Thompson's burning rage.

* Scientists predict that when Fred Thompson dies he'll explode taking out the five nearest planets before collapsing into a black hole.

* Why does Iran want nuclear weapons? Out of fear of Fred Thompson.

Hat tip: Instapundit